Stuff Stoners Like

Here at Suff Stoners Like we aim to please, man. Several of our stoner friends have written in touting Doritos as the ultimate stoner food. So…who are we not to investigate, right?

So we decided to test that theory. And, well it’s true…stoners love those fucking Doritos, man. It’s almost like the quintessential stoner food. Walk into a stoner’s pad and you’ll surely see an episode of Taxi on TV and a half-full bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos on the coffee table.

And, that’s what we did, man. We visited 100 homes of known stoners and at every single place we found Doritos. Some of them stoners were outta weed, but they weren’t outta Doritos. In fact, maybe that shit substitutes for weed? Because they’re fucking addictive, man…like Krispy Kremes to a fat kid they’re freakin’ irresistible. In fact that powder coatin’ ’em is pro’lly Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ-flavored keef, I bet you. If you smoked that shit…you’d get super hi.

In fact they make Doritos specifically for stoners, man. You’ve heard of Baked Doritos, right? That shit ain’t no pun, dude…that shit’s subliminal marketing. Baked? Well, then..eat some Baked Doritos! And, some of those fucking flavors couldn’t have been conceived by someone who wasn’t stoned. Give me a break, dude. Who the fuck would come up with the idea of Collision Doritos like Hot Wings/Blue Cheese, Zesty Taco/Chipotle Ranch, and Pizza Cravers/Ranch, but a STONER! I mean a pregnant woman wouldn’t even crave that shit, right?

So ya know…it’s true. Doritos just might be the ultimate munchy food item. And, why not, they’re cheap, they’re readily available (theres pro’lly a bag of ’em sitting in your cupboard right now) and well, they’re purty fuckin’ tasty.

Dangers abounds though. We can’t begin to tell you the amount of times we’ve seen joints stained orange from Doritos fingers! That orange powder shit gets all over the fucking place, dude. And, it’s fully bad etiquette to lick your fingers before you hit a J, so it’s got no other place to go than on the joint you are hittin’. But, maybe that’s the point? Some stoners might actually prefer their joints Spicy or Cool Ranch flavored.

Yep it’s true…there are chemicals in marijuana, cannabinoids, that, according to new research, can put the brakes on colon cancer.

Raymond DuBois and his colleagues at the University of Texas have discovered that a key receptor (CB1) for cannabinoids is turned off in most types of human colon cancer. Without this receptor, a protein called Survivin, which stops cells from dying, increases unchecked and causes tumour growth.

It’s key that we continue research using marijuana as a medicine. Make sure to vote in favor of medical marijuana November 4th.

Fuck the Big Lebowski and that lame-ass Pineapple Express. If you want the real deal pot comedy, watch any Cheech and Chong movie. Or just catch them on tour!

Yep, the original weed comedy duo Cheech and Chong are back and will be coming to a town near you during their Light Up America and Canada tour! Their pesky 27 year-old feud has gone up in smoke! So bring it on.

The gigs will be a mixture of their funny-ass old school (Born In East LA, Up in Smoke, Nice Dreams) material as well as some newly crafted joints.

And, speaking of joints will Cheech and Chong be stoned on tour? What the fuck do you think! Nowadays they don’t even need to bring their own smoke. “It’s like bringing coal to Newcastle,” says Chong of the availablitlity of free weed that their fame allows. “If you need weed, you can get it faster than a pizza almost anywhere”.

Have you all heard about the medical marijuana initiative, Proposal 1, on Michigan’s November ballot that could make medical weed legal?

The initiative that naysayers are calling a “pot dream come true for drug dealers” will legalize marijuana for pain relief from chronic illness as approved by a doctor. Users would carry state I.D. cards showing their status, and would be exempt from prosecution. Proposal 1 also allows registered users to grow weed!

So this Free Press poll of several hundred voters showed that Michigan-ites supported the proposal. And then all of a sudden some fucking group called the Citizens Protecting Michigan’s Kids started to talk some shit. Until they opened their mouths Proposal 1 was virtually uncontested.

The proposal is full of loopholes, said Michigan Court of Appeals Judge William Schuette, member of that fucking Citizens Protecting Michigan’s Kids group. Can you say conflict of interest? He said crime would increase, as evidenced by California’s medical marijuana laws, and teens would have greater access to drugs. There is no oversight on growing marijuana plants and “pot shops” could open up in strip malls. Wow, strip mall weed shops…that’d be great, wouldn’t it? And, what’s this guy got against an entire state? What did California ever do to you?

The prosecution has dropped a marijuana possession charge against Houston Texan running back Jameel Cook.

Fort Bend County District Attorney John Healey said Tuesday there was insufficient evidence to show Cook knew there was marijuana in his car when he was pulled over by a patrol officer in August. Healey told Houston television station KRIV that Cook was ticketed for driving with an invalid license, failure to maintain insurance, no front license plate, expired registration and expired inspection sticker.

Cook’s attorney, Chip Lewis, said the Cook passed a police polygraph test and a drug test.

Cook, who spent five seasons with Tampa Bay, is a free agent. He was released by the Texans six days after he was arrested…what bullshit, eh?