Stuff Stoners Like

We here at StuffStonersLike are just as sick about  yesterday’s (3-26-09) raid of a legal, permitted San Francisco dispensary as our loyal readership. And, we know that you want to do something about it. So, we’d like to empower you and ask that you take action!

Our friends at Americans for Safe Access asked us to pass this along…

DEA Ignores Policy, Raids San Francisco Dispensary
Raids Defy U.S. President and Attorney General, and need your response!

We never expected that the DEA would defy the public statements of both the U.S. President and the Attorney General in such an arrogant and brazen way.

And yet yesterday, the Drug Enforcement Administration raided a legal, permitted San Francisco medical cannabis dispensing collective against the will of the President and the Department of Justice… and we need you to respond RIGHT NOW!

In early February national media attention exploded around statements from a White House spokesperson and from U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, telling the press that DEA raids would no longer continue, and that an end to such raids, according to Holder, was “now U.S. policy.”

And DEA’s response?

They thumbed their noses at the President and immediately raided a legal dispensing collective and, according to the San Francisco Police, did not even inform local cops! DEA claimed that the permit-holding dispensary was “violating state law,” but went on to say that evidence was “under seal” and could not be shared with the public.

The DEA is out of line and out of control, and this raid is nothing if not vindictive. Even if there was a violation of state law:

1. Why where there no arrests?
2. Why were local cops not involved?
3. Why are United States Federal Agents interpreting and enforcing California state law without consulting California officials?
4. Why was the collective not given due process through the proper authorities, but rather ransacked with a “smash and grab” raid?

DEA has twisted the words of the U.S. Attorney General, and thought that by saying publicly “they violated state law” that they could continue raiding whenever they want. Well that doesn’t fly. We DEMAND that the DEA stop immediately, and that U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder reprimand DEA Administrator Michele Leonhart for her blatant insubordination and violation of the “new American policy.”

It’s up to you to put pressure on them, and all it takes is two phone calls, one to U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, and the other straight to the DEA.

Please call the U.S. Attorney General at (202) 353-1555 and say:

Hi, my name is _____________. First I want to thank you for your numerous public statements verifying the end of DEA raids on legal medical marijuana dispensaries in California. But on Wednesday the DEA went against your word and the word of the President of the United States by raiding a permitted dispensary in San Francisco. We respectfully demand that you issue a statement condemning and officially ending these raids until the Obama Administration has had a chance to review the new policy.

When you’re done, call the DEA at (202) 307-8000, ask for Administrator Michele Leonhart, and say:

Hi, my name is ___________. The U.S. Attorney General and the President of the United States have both made high-profile public statements, saying DEA raids on legal medical marijuana dispensaries is no longer U.S. policy. Yet your DEA raided a legal, permit-holding San Francisco dispensary yesterday, in conflict with these statements. This disgraceful and anti-democratic. Why is your agency not listening to the policy statements of our elected leaders and your boss? Is this how you’ll run DEA if you are appointed in the Obama Administration? We demand that you STOP it immediately!

Sincerely,
George Pappas
Field Coordinator
Americans for Safe Access

P.S. Please forward this message to all your friends and family so that we can generate a response big enough to get officials to act!

If a stoner is stoned enough they’ll just sit there and watch the blinking lights on a fucking Christmas tree, right? Well, that’s precisely why Star Trek is the quintessential stoner TV show, man. It’s filled with blinking lights and shit. They’ve got full walls filled with blinking lights and command centers filled with blinking lights and spaceships with tons of blinking lights all over ’em. Oh, and Star Trek has got a whole bunch of hot chicks on it too! So what if they’re purple and have antennas…they still have big boobs, right? And, what’s not to like about boobs?

Star Trek is all super colorful too, dude. It’s like a cartoon with real actors (if you can call that shit acting). I mean look at Captain Kirk for instance…he’s the ultimate stoner! That dude’s so animated how could he not be a completely stoned cartoon parody? But just the bright-ass visuals alone are captivating to stoners. And, don’t get started on all the cool gadgets and the awesome soundtrack. I mean, the sound the phasers make and that “schwaaa” sound all the doors make when they open are just soooo cool when stoned, right? How many stoners wished their welcome mat sounded that rad?

Star Trek is funny as hell too, man. Wait? What? Are you certain… Star Trek isn’t a comedy? you lie! So all that running-across-the-room-and- slamming-into-walls thing they do during ill-fated Klingon attacks is really supposed to be believable? Ohh…we get it now. Star Trek is a drama. A portrayal of a Utopian society, eh? Marijuana must be legal in their part of the universe then! Never-the-less Star Trek is the shit when stoned.

Because when you are stoned, suspending belief is easy, another reason why 9 out of 10 stoners choose Star Trek. The show is set in the future but all of a sudden the dudes are fighting off lions and tigers in ancient Rome or they go back to some other fucked-up past decade and meet up with a ton of creatures that look about as real as toilet paper stuffed bras. Being stoned really does help when watching Star Trek however, because no one in their right mind thinks Trebbles are cute and big booby-ed purple chicks are that easy, right?

And, well…obviously stoners are only interested in the old school Star Trek because even they’re not high enough to believe George Costanza (Jason Alexander had bit parts on Star Trek: The Next Generation) would make a good alien!

Question? If one Borg gets stoned…does the entire collective get stoned too?

Sometimes you just can’t make this shit up! The AP is reporting that some 20-year-old dude in Omaha, Nebraska was arrested last night for trying to smoke his cat! Allegedly the guy  tried to “mellow out his cat” (named Shadow)by stuffing it into a homemade bong and then smoking from it. Well, now he’s facing criminal charges.

Dude told Lancaster County sheriff’s deputies that the cat was all hyper and stuff and that he was just trying to calm her down.  Later, the stoned cat was taken to the Capital Humane Society, where she appeared to be in good condition.

Deputies found the cat-filled bong after responding to a domestic disturbance call at the place the cat-smoker shares with his grandfather, Sgt. Andy Stebbing said. They finished up with the dispute, left the house, only to return minutes later after discovering there was an arrest warrant on the suspect for possession of drug paraphernalia. Upon re-entering the house, Stebbing said, deputies saw the suspect smoking marijuana through a piece of garden hose attached to the duct-taped, plastic glass box, in which the cat had been stuffed. “This cat was just dazed,” Stebbing said. “She was on the front seat of the cop car, wrapped in a blanket, and never moved all the way to the humane society.” The suspect was cited for misdemeanor animal cruelty and taken to the Lancaster County Jail on the arrest warrant. He was released after paying a $400 fine.