Stuff Stoners Like

Scientists from Italy and the United Kingdom, who published their research in the Journal of Natural Products last month, say that cannabis-based creams can be used to treat persistent skin infections. Substances harvested from pot plants can outperform antibiotics in the battle against drug-resistant bacteria. The compounds, called cannabinoids, appear to be unaffected by the mechanism that superbugs like MRSA use to evade existing antibiotics.

Cannabis has been used as a treatment for turbuerculosis among other diseases since the 1950s, contains substances with antibacterial properties. Unfortunately, there is limited knowledge about these properties since medical weed wisdom is usually clouded with controversy.

Giovanni Appendino of the Piemonte Orientale University, in Italy, and Simon Gibbons of the School of Pharmacy at the University of London, U.K., have revisited the antibiotic power of marijuana by systematically testing different cannabinoids’ ability to kill MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) a bacterium that can cause infections and does not respond to many antibiotics.

New England Patriots running back Kevin Faulk was suspended for one week and fined about $300,000, by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell this week after pleading guilty in July to misdemeanor marijuana possession charges. The marijuana reform group SAFER (Safer Alternatives for Enjoyable Recreation is not going to just sit on the sidelines and watch.

SAFER, whose primary argument is that marijuana is safer than alcohol and should not be treated more harshly, announced Thursday that it would deliver an online petition and letter calling for changes to the NFL’s marijuana policy to Goodell in New York City. According to the group, the fine is total slap in the face when you consider that the NFL accepts hundreds of millions of dollars in alcohol advertising.

“The NFL has no problem with players using alcohol and it accepts hundreds of millions of dollars to promote booze to football fans of all ages,” said SAFER executive director Mason Tvert.

This isn’t the first time SAFER has gone after the NFL’s marijuana policy. Last October, the group erected a billboard across the street from Invesco Field in Denver that featured an image of NFL superstar Ricky Williams in a Denver Broncos jersey, urging the recently reinstated player to “Come to Denver: Where the people support your SAFER choice.”

A Colorado couple is seeking compensation for cannabis plants that were taken by police and left to die. The pair claim the 39 marijuana plants that were seized were grown for medical purposes. “All the plants were dead,” said Brian Vicente, one of the attorneys for the couple. “Some had turned to liquid – this black, moldy liquid. There was mold over everything.”

The court case was eventually thrown out.

Now the couple is taking the police to court seeking $200,000 compensation. Under Colorado state law, seized property should not be negelccted or destroyed. Of the 12 states that have legalized marijuana for medical use, Colorado stands out for its law specifying that police must not “harm, neglect or destroy” seized plants in such cases, said Noah Mamber, legal services coordinator for advocacy group Americans for Safe Access.

People have all sorts of rituals. Stoners are people too. And, they have a lot of rituals. Those rituals usually center around the type of paraphernalia a stoner likes to use to consume cannabis. And if you haven’t noticed, stoners love that shit, man. They love everything about it. I mean they like to collect it, to use it, to talk about it all the fucking time. Have you ever talked to a stoner about their paraphernalia? It’s like watching a fucking episode of the Antiques Road Show, man. They get all sentimental about their shit. “I smoked my first bowl out of this pipe in jr. high school, man”. You can learn a lot about a stoner by peeking into their stash box to see just what sort of tool they use. Let’s stereotype some stoners right now, shall we?

Let’s take a look at those stoners who prefer joints as their fave means of smoking. Joints are rad. They’re super old-school—since like…native times, man. So joints get some style points right off the bat because that shit’s the o.g. The method is a li’l stale, I mean that shit peaked in the 70’s, but there are some serious purists out there that keep joints alive. Now, these guys need to chop up their weed into tiny li’l-ass pieces, right? And, that’s commonly done with those little nose hair-clippin’ scissors on top of a copy of Frampton Comes Alive. So there ya go: paraphernalia! Sure, it’s a really quick and convenient way to get hi, but there ins’t a whole lot of paraphernalia involved; papers, scissors, Frampton covers, roach clips…nothing too fancy. But, a lot of stoners will tell you that it’s surely the most effective way to get hi. This method is total bargain basement cost-effective too.

There are those who prefer glass. They’ll tell you it’s the best way to get hi too. Glass is expensive, so it’s usually for the stoners who can afford and appreciate green bud. Think about The Wolf in Pulp Fiction, remember when he tasted Tarantino’s coffee and grinned? He knew that was some good shit in his cup. Glass-using stoners are like Mr. Wolf…they know good shit. Those joint dudes, well, they aren’t as discriminating. So, yeah, glass…it comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes and it’s super colorful and well, it’s art.

Then there are the guys who don’t even smoke weed…they vaporize it. That’s like high-tech stoner shit, man. Paper is technology, I mean it’s like man-made and so is glass…but this is some Star Trek-tech type shit. So instead of burning up weed, which creates carcinogens, those nasty cancer causing agents, you hit the weed with some super hot air. And, because thc, the chemical that gets ya hi, has a low smoking point it vaporizes at a low temperature. Since there aren’t any carcinogens these stoners’ll tell ya that this is definitely the best way to get hi. And, well…if you can afford it…maybe they’re right.

Fois gras, caviar? Uhm, no. What stoners really like to eat is cold pizza. Why? Well, for one: it’s already made and two: well, it’s already fucking made, man. There’s nothing better to a stoner than a bong rip and then a trip, to the refrigerator–that is, to find a cold beer and what soon will be their roommate’s left-over, cold pepperoni pizza.

Did I mention the true beauty of cold pizza? That you don’t have to do anything other than bite into that shit to enjoy it? No heating necessary, man! It’s kind of like that lame-ass raw food craze all those actors are following.

Even the most picky stoner will enjoy a slice of cold pizza. You see, as a pizza gets cold…it gets easier to pry off those undesireable toppings. And, according to stoners, the more stoned you are the more attractive a slice of pizza becomes. Truly, what stoner really wants olives or pineapple or bell peppers on their pizza? But, if that’s what your pussy-whipped, roomate’s girfriend insisted on ordering last night, well then…peel off those bell pepper and have at it!

Eating left-over cold pizza is way better than dealing with the rigors of having a hot one delivered. By eating cold pizza stoners don’t even have to get up off the couch and open the door to some pimply-faced teeny bopper delivery dude. Cold pizza, well…it’s just waiting for ’em…sitting pretty in the refrigerator…on a dirty plate…all dried out…next to a Zima and what looks to be a nasty-ass science experiment.  And, pizza is one of those few things that even tastes better cold than it does warm. Just ask Sting or Lisa Bonet how that raw food diet is treatin’ ’em and how that raw fucking knob of cauliflower tastes compared to a fat slice of cold mushroom and sausage pizza. And you know what…cold pizza is safe to eat when you are stoned. Imagine the amount of risk involved with molten cheese while you are stoned. In fact, all pizza should be consumed cold when stoned.

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