Sometimes you’ll see a stoner reach for a cup of coffee in the morning before they actually reach for a bong hit….sometimes. Yep stoners like to wake and bake, and like syrup on waffles, nothing goes better with that morning bong rip like a cup of coffee. To a stoner, coffee fools them into thinking that the caffeine counters that lazying affect of weed. We’ve never actually witnessed a stoner take a bong rip, sip some coffee, and then run a marathon or anything, but it could happen. Something about that kick of caffeine makes a true stoner feel just a bit more motivated. Feel is the key word here.
More often than not a stoner will drink their coffee jet black. Not because they like it that way, it’s just that adding milk, or cream, or sugar, or whatever…takes time. You don’t see stoners fussing over all those li’l additions, ya know. They get used to that plain ol’ stock flavor just for the sake of laziness and well stoners are really into instant gratification; grab cup, pour, sip…instant gratification.
Stoners like to participate in rituals and preparing coffee is a ritual akin to packing a good bowl. To stoners, It’s the daily grind (pun intended) that’s as attractive as the caffeine surge, really. Stoners are really way into the little methodical routines of their habit and coffee provides a legal way to indulge in such ceremonial practices. Ever watch a stoner roll a joint? Well, I have…and they’re super into it. They take that shit seriously. So why would it be any different when it comes to brewing coffee with all the grinding beans, filling up paper cones, etc.?
Most stoners brew their stimulant at home. Why? Well, stoners aren’t paying $5 for a cup of Starbucks coffee, you see, when they can just make it at home. Same theory applies for growing your own weed. Why buy when you can multiply? So paying exorbitant amounts of cashola for something you can make yourself is just not the stoner way. Who needs a gourmet caramel-half-caf-double-skinny, latte when you’re in the mood for a caffeine jolt and some Cheez-Its, anyhow?
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