mediumSo here’s the thing about Taco Bell…they keep their menu super simple…for stoners. Sure they have a ton of “items” listed up on the board at the drive through, but each one of those items consists of the same few ingredients:

  • beans
  • meat
  • veg
  • cheese
  • tortillas

Purty simple right? Yep, Taco Bell has done their homework. Every single thing that Taco Bell sells can be fashioned from these simple building blocks de cuisine. Let’s say you are stoned and you want some beans. Now, you can have those beans in a cup or slathered on a tortilla. You can add meat to that…and you got yourself  a 1/2lb. Spicy Beef Combo Burrito. You say you want something crunchy with some beans and ground beef? You’re in luck bro, T-Bell has ya covered with a Chrunch Wrap Supreme.

For a stoner, ordering is a breeze. All stoners have to do is take into consideration what items their munchies dictate and the amount of weed they’ve smoked. If you’ve had a six-pack of bong hits, you don’t need the added responsiblity of balancing items on a tortilla chip. So you’re probably wanting to go for something that’s fully self-contained, like a Burrito or a Taco. Actually, why decide between the two when you can just get yourself one of those fucking tacos encased in a burrito things.

Now, if you’re a li’l less baked, you could get all your items organized into a Nacho Bellgrande, here Taco Bell deconstructs a taco and tosses it onto a paper plate, or they’ll add some more veg and a tortilla shaped like a clam shell and toss you a Taco Salad. Both these items take a bit of coordination but most expert stoners can still manage to drive a stick, find Kyuss on their iPod, smoke a joint, eat a taco salad, and drive at the same time.

Now, stoners should all band together and ask Taco Bell to bring back the one thing that ALL  stoners LOVE.  It’s the only thang they’ve ever offered that doesn’t contain any of the magic ingredients: beans, meat, veg, cheese, tortillas. Can you guess what it is? Lost too many brian cells, have you? Think hard…that’s right…Taco Bell used to sell the pinnacle of stoner food: the Choco Taco!